Contact or Story Submission


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2 thoughts on “Contact or Story Submission

  1. Shirley F

    I was married to an abusive minister for 17 years. He developed a mental illness later in our marriage but that was not the reason for the abuse. The abuse used Bible verses to support male headship, punish questioning, and other acts of a healthy person. I am writing a workbook to help others.
    My husband began as a Baptist minister, charismatic and eloquent. He then went to Disciples of Christ, then independent Christian and finally was his own “bishop”. Few realize that abuse shares the same techniques whether done in the name of God or not. But a woman of faith has an inner battle that adds to the torment because she wants to please God. I finally came to the realization that Christ did not die for me to live like this. I was a naive young Catholic. I thought I was growing my faith by learning the Bible, only to realize it was another legalistic system. My college education or intelligence did not mean I would be considered spiritually equal. The strengths I had and my desire to do good were used against me. I believe most abuse using the name of God has an an agenda the control of power, money or sex. I found that all three operated in my marriage. I struggle to forgive myself for the harm my children suffered in the marriage. I have guilt that I did not stand up for them and stop him from hurting them. One child has bipolar depression because of it. I was told that if I had him committed I couldn’t divorce him. I divorced in 1983 and still am processing the pain and my children do too. Please understand that you are just as worthy to decide what verses mean for you as any man. Ask yourself why the men are so intent on controlling your behavior with the name of God. What are they afraid of? They are afraid of losing their power over your body, mind and soul. Some men think being a man means controlling a woman. Read with fresh eyes Jesus advocacy for women against his culture and time. Patriarchy is not God’s will.

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  2. Shirley F

    P.S. Some abuses were being forced to have sex, not being allowed to sleep, attempts to poison me, 5 hour harangues, marathon Bible study going on on day with no permission to go to the restroom or tend to needs of children, throwing fire at me, calling me a daughter of Satan if I disagreed, saying David had extra women, having Abigail presented as a role model as a woman who could calm David’s anger but also tolerate his affairs, total confiscation of any money I made, attempts to sabotage my college work, refusal to work after second child was born, leaving good jobs because “God told him so”, using my credit cards on mistresses, saying it was wrong to celebrate Christmas but using my money to buy mistresses’ children gifts, enforcing lying, fraud, beatings while pregnant, and more. Be aware that just because it happens one at a time in a private home, does not mean it is different in severity or damage as cult, concentration camps, or other brainwashing and destructive abuses used to destroy people. I was essentially the only member of his cult and gave birth to the other three members.

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