Tag Archives: child molestation

Debby Kenderdine’s Story

My name is Debby Kenderdine. I grew up in an Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) home. My Dad went to Fairhaven Baptist College in Chesterton, Indiana. After he was finished there, he moved our family to Philadelphia where he served as a pastor for about 8 years. When I was 10 years old, my dad made the decision to go to Cambodia as a missionary and to go under Fairhaven Baptist Church. Two years later we moved to Cambodia. After a year and half there, my mom passed away in a motorcycle accident. We moved back home after she died and we lived at Fairhaven.

Exactly a year later, we moved back to Cambodia. Fairhaven sent an intern over to spend the summer with us. I was very excited, since I grew up with this man and loved him like a brother. However, a month before his internship was over, he molested me. I was 15 and scared out of my mind. I went to my Dad for help. My Dad said he would handle it. He did, but I was told that I had to keep it a secret. I did for 7 years.

My family eventually moved back to Fairhaven where my Dad was interning to be the next lead pastor. I hated it. People were constantly watching and judging everything that I did. More than once I got into major trouble for being dressed “immodest.” Then, the man who had molested me moved back to Fairhaven as well. This really disturbed me greatly to the point that I hardly ever slept and if I saw this person walking towards me I would get anxiety attacks.

In my second year of college, I managed to get myself kicked out for looking at porn. This was none of their business, of course, but in the IFB everything seems to be the pastor’s business. I became a prisoner in my own home after being kicked out. I wasn’t allowed to speak with anyone except my family and the staff. I became severely depressed at this time. I prayed every day and night for God to kill me and when I woke up alive, I would be angry. Once I almost tried to kill myself, however my fear of going to hell took over. (At the time, I thought that if a person killed themself, they automatically went to hell.)

I began to listen to pop music, which actually saved my life. It allowed me to see that I could make my own choices in life, something I hadn’t realized before. It also taught me to love myself just as I was. I didn’t have to change for anyone.  For the first time ever I had some hope. When my dad found out that I was listening to the “devil’s music” he was furious. He took everything I owned and threw it away. (Mind you I was now 22.) This, however didn’t stop me any. I restocked my music and went on.

My dad resigned from Fairhaven that year and moved to a small Wisconsin church. Of course, he took me with him. There, he became more relaxed. And this led to my being able to finally escape through the help of a dear friend.

Leaving wasn’t easy. There are many things that came up that I wasn’t prepared for. In my head I had it that once I left the cult, I would leave all the pain it caused behind, but that simply is not true. I didn’t know how to cope in real life. I had no social skills. My first job was hell for me and it was because I didn’t know how to speak up. I had spent a lifetime being told to shut up and it was different in the real world. Also, trying to make friends was very difficult. It wasn’t until I went back to college this past year that I began to develop friendships again. Dating was another difficultly. I didn’t know that I could say no to what the man wanted. Then there were simple things like learning how to text or use a computer and even a TV.

For quite some time I had to cut off ties with my Dad and, my brothers refused to speak with me. I am lucky though, because now they talk with me. Many of my friends who left Fairhaven are not so lucky. I did face a lot of anxiety, depression and loneliness after leaving the cult. I also got into a couple of bad relationships because I didn’t know any better. However, I have begun to heal. I am in college for psychology. I have a supportive second family and boyfriend. What is more important is that now I am no longer afraid to live my life.

Janeane Johnson’s Story of Abuse

 When all the stuff about Jack Schaap came to light, I became brave enough to tell a very abbreviated version of my story on the Do Right Hyles Anderson College Facebook page.  I did put Bill Wininger’s name out there but, I want to tell my story here too.

I would have done this much sooner, but I am the mom of 5 children with the youngest being 3 weeks, so needless to say, I haven’t had much time to myself.

I started attending North Sharon Baptist Church as a 3 year old. As a matter of fact, it was Bethany Leonard’s dad who came to my door and invited my family to ride the church bus. Her family has been a blessing to my family. After all, they are the reason I started going to church.

I loved my childhood at North Sharon Baptist Church.  It was like a second home and family to me; especially after my parents were divorced.  I was in eighth grade when this happened so my church family was my rock.  I knew the people had a genuine love and concern for me.

Well, right before my parents divorced, our church went through a big scandal and my brothers and sister and I, who were attending North Sharon Christian School at the time, suddenly found ourselves in a public school.  My parents were advised this would be best because of our direct involvement in the scandal. We rode the bus of one of the men who was falsely accused. For me, it was devastating. My world had just fallen apart.

It was during this time when Bill Wininger started grooming me for abuse.  It started off as innocent. He would call me into his office to make sure I was doing okay and give me hugs. Well, it proceeded into much more than that over the course of the next year.  I knew it was wrong but, tried to justify it by telling myself he was the “man of God” and he had a reason for it. I remember thinking he was trying to judge my character and see if I was really a “good girl.”

One day after school, I rode home with another family at the school because I was babysitting for the family overnight.  Needless to say, they could tell something was wrong right away.  I was quiet the whole way home, could barely eat dinner and, was trying to hold back tears. I remember both Mr. and Mrs.,  ______  asking me what was wrong and I told them I couldn’t talk about it.  But, deep down inside,  I wanted to tell someone. Just before school let out that day, Bill Wininger called me into his office and that was when the worst of the abuse occurred. Not only was it worse than any other time in his office but, after he was done, he looked me in the eyes and asked me why I let him do that to me!  It’s amazing I didn’t burst into tears right there. Instead, I just froze and didn’t say anything.  After all, why did I let it happen?

Shortly after that incident, I remember purposely trying to avoid him. I was scared to death. I started having bad dreams at night and would sit up in my bed and just cry uncontrollably. My sister shared a room with me and was obviously concerned and curious as to why I kept doing this. She kept asking me to tell her what was wrong and I kept saying, “I can’t.” She finally told me, “You better tell me what’s going on!” Well, I finally told her but, made her promise not to tell anyone, not even my dad or brothers because I knew if my dad found out, we would never go to church again.

Soon after, I noticed I wasn’t alone.  A couple of my friends (Robin Nixon being one of those friends) were being called into his office too. I at least felt safe enough to talk to my friends about the abuse. This is what got me through emotionally until I graduated high school. My brothers eventually found out somehow; not sure how, but it was the big secret of our youth group for the longest time. All the teenagers eventually knew about Bill Wininger.

Well, I’m sure I left something out, but I’ve already written a lot. Needless to say, this has made me a stronger person and there’s so much more I could share but will leave it for a different time.

If there is anyone out there who has been abused and is afraid to tell, please, please tell someone! I am glad my sister pried the truth out of me.  She will never know how much it helped to finally tell someone.  I love her more than words can say. She has been one of my biggest rocks through all this!

Darlene Scott’s Story

When a church becomes a gated community that’s when the devil has taken residency. My name is Darlene and I was a victim of childhood molestation. At the age of 53, I want to share my history of abuse when I married the junior pastor of my church. In the beginning, we had so much fun. But, when his mother, an evangelist, saw we were moving towards marriage, her horrible demeanor became worse. Everyone, including her son, knew she was abusive. She often displayed the physical and mental abusive behaviors at church. Each time, she had an outburst, the pastor always made excuses for her.

My future husband would often share the horrific stories of his mother’s wrath and, he felt once we were married that we would live happily ever after. Well it didn’t happen. Once we were married, he became physically and mentally abusive just like his mother for eight long years. I tried everything to make his mother love me. I stayed in the marriage because I thought prayer and my goodness would rub off on him. My husband had so many disguises it was hard for me to keep up. What people didn’t know was that he loved drugs more than God and our family. I couldn’t believe his behavior, I trusted him with all my secrets, as he did me. He knew my pain, why did he hurt me?

I turned to the minister of every church we attended and I was told the same thing, “You took a vow for better or worse, till death do you part. Keep praying for your husband.” But, God had other plans for me. I divorced the bum and the cult. I said cult because we worshipped in a gated facility, where whatever happened in the church stayed in the church. We were taught it was against the will God to call the authorities on another church member, because prayer changes things.

I realized the sexual assault I survived as a child had hindered my mental growth as an adult. I allowed the pain BECAUSE I was use to being hurt. I found healing through prayer and writing. Writing poetry and short stories took me on an adventure that provided hope for my future. I received closure when I was BLESSED to write a powerful fictional story that mirrors episodes of me and my daughter’s past. The generational curse was broken when God gave me something my mother didn’t have when I was molested – courage — and the courage I found, led me to file charges against my daughter’s molester. Even though we couldn’t get a conviction, we won spiritually.

When my book, What A Nice Guy!, hit Amazon, I was in tears with joy because I had WON! I had written a book exposing the devil. In addition, children will learn from my story. This past week, I have received so many tweets, Facebook messages and telephone calls from friends from my first church family. For over 35 years, I took it personally because I never received the respect I wanted from my former mother-in-law.  My husband had shared parts of the dysfunction of his family.  I knew his siblings were tortured from their past. His youngest brother was arrested and convicted for several sexual assaults at the age of sixteen. The other brother was a child molester as well as a homosexual infected with Aids. His brother was responsible for the death of his nephew whom he repeatedly sexually assaulted over the years. The sister left the family at an early age for a life of prostitution and drugs. She later gave birth to two boys whom my mother-in-law loved to torture. This lady never missed a church service and has preached many sermons! The reason why she hated me so much, I discovered from members of my old church, is that all those years I was married to her son she was having sex with each of her children and the children were having sex with one another. My husband never told me that incest was taking place in his home.  This information made  me sick to my stomach, but yet gave me closure. I’m grateful to God that he protected my child from the demonic spirit of incest. My story is one of many that occurred within that Pentecostal church and, possibly many other religions.

When stories of child molestation are discovered, in their ignorance, people blame God. The first lesson a Christian should learn in Bible school: God is love and he loves children. The devil wears many disguises. We must learn to unmask the child molester and take God out of the demonic behavior.

We live in a society, where teaching children “Good touch, Bad touch” is not good enough anymore. No one is exempt as far as I’m concern. Because the majority of the survivors I know were molested by family members or friends of the family.  Parents, listen with your heart and observe what is not being said when a child’s behavior is different in the presence of someone he or she once adored. The purpose of writing my book was to educate parents, so that they teach their children my safety concept.

Be encouraged to view my youtube promo at ability46K or to buy my book on amazon.com to protect your children – What A Nice Guy! By Darlene L. Scott